Saturday, August 8, 2009

Wax and wane.

I'm in that place where I know who I am, but I don't know how to put it into practice.

I am strong, and I am not weak.

Maybe if I keep telling myself this, it will be true.

I used to be a strong woman. But strong in a cold way. I was shut off. Maybe that was actually weakness.... I have been trying for years to rediscover myself, to take back control of my life and my destiny.

When I got pregnant, I was headed in a certain direction, and having a child changed that. I thought for a long time that my dreams had to be taken away. That I was going to be stymied in this boring life. I've now realized that my dreams and wants and desires can still be realized, just on new terms.

I now need to regain the confidence I had in order to get back on track to the life I want. To the life I deserve.

I'm so lost in my own head.

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