Wax and wane.

I'm in that place where I know who I am, but I don't know how to put it into practice.

I am strong, and I am not weak.

Maybe if I keep telling myself this, it will be true.

I used to be a strong woman. But strong in a cold way. I was shut off. Maybe that was actually weakness.... I have been trying for years to rediscover myself, to take back control of my life and my destiny.

When I got pregnant, I was headed in a certain direction, and having a child changed that. I thought for a long time that my dreams had to be taken away. That I was going to be stymied in this boring life. I've now realized that my dreams and wants and desires can still be realized, just on new terms.

I now need to regain the confidence I had in order to get back on track to the life I want. To the life I deserve.

I'm so lost in my own head.

Electric Heat.

It is so rare to feel the fire of passion
running through your body and soul.
So rare to find the electric heat
he inspired me to know.

So rare to spin and spiral
and toil the hours away
thinking of the man whose seering touch
I have yet to feel today.

So rare to shake and tremble
when only I am there
and feel his mouth and flicking tongue
of which my body is so aware.

So rare to taste him
when I have yet to taste him
and feel his hands wash over me
touching my every limb.

So rare to be told to suffer
through every look and every comment
and try not to touch or linger or long
for the forbidden, heated moment.

So rare to know this electric heat.

So rare, so rare, so rare.