If you want to learn about yourself, check out Netflix.

I go through fazes with Netflix.

Sometimes I use them a lot, like when I am watching a series, like right now, I'm watching Season 2 of The Tudors. Awesome.

Sometimes I never use it, like when I had some shitty selection for about 6 months, and I felt bad about getting them and not wanting to watch them, so I just kept them. Yeah.

But my favorite thing about Netflix is that you can go on their site and rate movies that you've seen. Based on those ratings, they make recommendations to you about what you might be interested in. It also tells you which movies you've rated that makes them think you would like the one they are suggesting, which makes it interesting.

For example, I liked Notorious C.H.O. and 30 Rock; Season 2. So Netflix recommends Yo Gabba Gabba: The Dancey Dance Bunch....

Wait. What?

In another suggestion they offer, The Passion of the Christ and Do The Right Thing.

I added the series Playboy After Dark. It recommended John Wayne's Tribute to America and This is Tom Jones.

I appreciate the suggestions, Netflix, but really? Maybe think about it before you throw those recommendations out, would you?

Eff you, Best Buy.

You know how every year we have to get a safety inspection on our cars? And every year, there is some stupid thing wrong that makes getting it inspected a total pain in the ass? Usually stupid things like a brake light is out or some other little thing.

Well, hey, guess what? Your defrost needs to work in order to pass a safety inspection. And mine? doesn't. Do you know why? Because those jackoffs at Best Buy fucked my cords up when they installed my car stereo.

So now I get to pay "a couple hundred dollars" (I don't yet know the exact total, as my car is still in the shop) to get it fixed.

Yay.

I am so fucking broke, I'm pretty sure I qualify for public assistance, and they want me to pay "a couple hundred dollars" on top of the $89 for registering my car and $45 for safety and inspection?

Suck it. Suck it hard. Suck it twice.

I'm taking the receipt to Best Buy, and those bitches are paying for it for me.

Catching some zzzz's.

Should I feel bad that I don't feel bad that I let Owen sleep a lot yesterday? And I mean, A LOT.

To start, he woke up around the usual time (9 ish, don't hate). He will hang out and play in his crib until my tired ass gets out of bed. But yesterday he got quiet soon after. So I got out of bed around 9:45, and he was totally out. So I let the dogs out, made coffee, checked my facebook, watered the flowers.... and so on. He did not wake up until 12. Noon. Holy shit.

So he got up, and we did our thing. Around 5:30, we went to the park with Amber, Suk, and Evan, and played and played. He was just about to fall asleep when we got there, so I thought he might take a little nap when we got home. He fell asleep around 7:30. I put a meatloaf in the oven (don't get too shocked; it was pre-made from Costco), thinking it would be done by the time Owen woke up.

Except that he didn't wake up until 9:30.... this morning.

I shit you not.

Can I just tell you? It was like having a whole night to myself. I got to watch TV, take a nap (God, I miss naps), read my homework. It was awesome.

I really don't feel bad about it. I feel like, if he slept that long, then he needed it. Right?

Bleh.

I'm tired today. I'm at the beginning of my weekend (as in, my days off), and it's hard, because I just want to relax. But I also want to spend some quality time with Owen, and he totally wants to hang out and play with me. But I also have a ton of shit I need to do. It's that stupid bitch, MOM GUILT, getting to me again.

I decided it was time to go back to school and finally finish. So right now I have an online class, then at the end of June, I start a 5 week French class. Let's just say, this is not going to be easy.

How do moms do it? I feel bad when I'm on the computer and Owen needs my attention. I feel bad when I have to leave him for work. What is it going to be like when I have to leave him for school, then leave him for work, then ignore him when I am home, because I have homework?

I know he's young and probably won't remember any of it, but I will. And I know it is only going to be for less than a year, but that's a whole year of my son's life that I won't really be around for. I know it is so that I can provide for a better future, but what about the present?

Ugh. I think I'm just too tired today. And if I'm too tired for me, then I'm too tired for him. I feel like an asshole.

Let's just say, thank God for coffee.