Stuck.

It's so funny how I can go from being so motivated to so shut off. I was super stoked when I was fired, because I thought, here's my chance to do something huge, here's my chance to do something different. And you know what I did? I went to the gym. Once. Watch out for me.

This bitch needs a job, and I need one fast. It's ridiculous that I sit here with all the time in the world, and no money to go out and do anything. Actually, it's not ridiculous; it's mean. I was about to go to Ikea today, you know, just to look around... But I caught myself. I know that old trick! I tell myself. I know that you are just using that as an excuse to get out of the house. Well, I've caught on to me...

My flirtation with spending as a cure for boredom is getting a cease and desist order. I have a new plan. Actually, I have a list. A list of all the things that need to get done around the house that I have been putting off for a long time, such as planting bulbs, and touching up paint, and sweeping under the couches. Some of these tasks cost money (hooray!), but for the most part they are free. Now it's just a matter of actually wanting to do them.

The point is that if I am going to redefine myself and use this time off wisely (argh, I blame my mother for my sense of restlessness), then I need to do things that do not require a plastic card with a high interest rate and no spending limit. Except, I'm going to need paint, and rocks for the landscaping project, and a garden weasel, and some shelves for downstairs...

Look. I never said I was perfect.